Can It Be Done? How I Plan to Turn Unemployment Into a Quest for Media Credentials, a World Record and an SEC College Football Odyssey within 120-hours

[Updated practice notes for Reese's Senior Bowl and East-West Shrine Bowl here]

East-West Shrine & Reeses Senior Bowls - Practice Notes

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Coming up on 3-months of unemployment, I've been starting to question if my past life as a financial wizard (if my skill set was a Hogwarts house, it would be Hufflepuff equivalent) is all but retired. With this in mind, I've been thinking of ways to expand the Fat Curry brand. Other than making a Tik Tok account so you can see me try to beat the world record time to eat 14 Oreos (62 seconds) while my significant other is at work putting the Oreos on the table, I applied for Media Credentials to attend each the Reese's Senior Bowl and the East-West Shrine Bowl.

So last week while attempting my first ever Murph workout, and in-between the dry heaving like Puff Johnson in a National Championship Game, I received emails from the Reese's Senior Bowl and East-West Shrine Bowl that my media credentials had been APPROVED for the upcoming events (nice to know someone sees value in my K.J. Jefferson articles).

After wrapping up the Murph, it was evident that I will never become a SEAL because I could never pass Hell Week, and I'd be the war equivalent of Kadarius Toney by always faking gameday injuries and lining up ahead of the captain. The SEAL Hell Week is 5.5 days that trains physical endurance, mental toughness and ability to perform work under stress, so my post-Murph dehydration-induced brain had an epiphany to make a Fat Curry CFB Hell Week using the media credential approvals. 

With only three-scheduled interviews next week, I figured why stop at only attending my 1st-ever Postseason CFB Bowls when I can also set a Guinness World Records title for the longest road trip to visit 5 SEC stadiums and 2 postseason CFB bowls (I checked the archives and it's available). What better way to show potential sponsors that I am fully invested into growing the Fat Curry brand alongside their own brand. Heck, maybe I'll even catch Lane Kiffin hitting a walk-of-shame on Ole Miss' Sorority Row when I visit.

For next week's East-West Shrine Bowl and Reese's Senior Bowl, I have developed the following game plan and budget. For those who are curious what access the Media gets (a lot) during these events as well as my travel routes, screenshots are at the end of this blog post.

Proposed Upcoming Trip: 

• 0 primary employments

• 1 Guinness World Records title for the longest road trip to visit 5 SEC stadiums while attending 2 postseason CFB bowl events

• 2 different postseason CFB bowls

• 3 delayed interviews

• 4 different hotels

• 5 of the 7 SEC West Schools visited (LSU, Alabama, Miss State, Ole Miss, Arkansas)

• 7 states (Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee)

• 28 total hours of driving

• 120-hour roundtrip

• $1,140 budget - $760 hotels, $180 gas (1,800/450 per tank x $3.07 gal avg. x 15 gals, $150 food ($30 x 5 days), $50 tolls and misc. bucket

• ~1,800 car miles

Proposed Trip Itinerary:

• Sunday (1/28):

  • Drive from Fayetteville, Arkansas to Frisco, Texas

• Monday (1/29):

  • 7:30am - Pick up East-West Shrine Bowl credentials

  • 8:15-7:00pm - Practice, Media access & events

• Tuesday (1/30):

  • 8:15-11:30am - Practice

  • 11:30-8:00pm - Drive to Baton Rouge, Louisiana - Visit LSU

• Wednesday (1/31):

  • 6:00-9:00am - Drive to Mobile, Alabama

  • 9:30-5:15pm - Practice, On-field interviews, Press conference

• Thursday (2/1):

  • 9:30-2:00pm - Practice, On-field interviews

  • 2:00-7:00pm - Drive to Tuscaloosa, Alabama - Visit Bama

  • 7:00-10:00pm - Watch East-West Shrine Bowl on NFL Network

• Friday (2/2):

  • 6:30-6:00pm - Drive to Starkville (Miss State), Oxford (Ole Miss) and back to Fayetteville (Arkansas)

• Saturday (2/3):

  • 12:00-3:00pm - Watch Reese's Senior Bowl on NFL Network

As a carrot to my readers, and in anticipation for next week's practices, I have created the only downloadable excel to my knowledge that breaks down each postseason CFB bowl game by players, schools, positions and conferences. My hope is to be able to add to this excel when attending the actual events. Additionally, I will look to provide real-time X coverage on if any players take up my proposal to arm-wrestle, if Jerome Bettis accepts my invite to my hotel room party and how Michael Penix responds to adversity when he hears that my GroupMe name has been "Michael Penix Jr. O 32.5" since April.

East-West Shrine & Reeses Senior Bowls - Breakdown

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Lastly, skinny Russell Crowe once asked a crowd of Roman citizens with insatiable carnal desires (some historians believe he was speaking to a Philadelphia Eagles crowd) if they were entertained. While I do hope that we can secure a sponsor so that you can vicariously take part in a world record, this upcoming quest is about proving that Fat Curry belongs amongst today's list of sports media household names (Mike "Failed Bachelor" Renner, Frank the Tank, No one from The Athletic) and also proving that I can dry heave my way though whatever the hell I say I will do.

Yours in being a bridge builder,

Big Daddy / Fat Curry

#ESKETIT

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East-West Shrine Bowl Media Events:

Reese's Senior Bowl Media Events:

Travel Routes:

Lodging: